Being on the other end....

I am learning that sometimes we just have to dig down deep and just keep trying even if it makes no sense what so ever. Even if it means loving a person we despise the most for the sake of the children.

One thing I wish with all my heart is that birth moms(like myself) would see that no matter what there are step-mommies who are always doing for the kids. I do this everyday even if that means I have to swallow all my pride and hate for the mommies in the world who do not get this. Because in the end the persistence, that moment of kindness shows the children that no matter what wrongs others do, we are still good people trying to do good things by the children. 

I have realized that getting angry and ignoring the fact, that as an adult, sometimes you have to do things you don't like, (Such as accepting the new person in your ex's life) is all apart of growing up into a mature and beautiful person. And isn't that what we want our children to be at the end of the day? 

I'm at that point in my life where I am sick of hearing the complaints on what someone else does or doesn't do the way you think it should be. We can not control anyone other than ourselves. At the end of the day our actions speak volumes to the children in our lives. I can honestly say, with all my heart, that every day I try to show the children in my home that no matter what their other family members or outside parties do or say, that I am stronger than stooping to a negative level and/or giving up. I will always talk nicely about their dad and step-mom or biological mom while they are around. I will always encourage them that no matter what happens at this very moment they have been blessed with more family that loves them than most people in the world. That there are times when people who love you will do things that hurt us but its ok. These people will always love them no matter what they do right or wrong. That its just a part of life. 
 
I will support my children and step child to know no matter what their "real parents" whether they do good or bad that they love them in their own way. Same goes for "the other parent." If we do not teach these children that people make mistakes either out of anger or vengeance or just stupidity then they grow up angry, confused, and hurt. And its a parents job to make sure that at any age their children understand this. Other wise your truly no different than the parent that you feel is wronging the children to begin with. 

I sit here daily struggling at times to even speak to people anymore. It seems nothing ever gets through in these situations. YOU are the only one who controls YOU, but as a parent you have the responsibility to guide any and all children around you. And if you cant see that even some things that you do are no different than the other parent or parents then your not seeing the bigger picture. You don't honestly know what goes on in that house any more than they know about yours. But like everyone in these high conflict situations we all assume we do based on what someone else says. There isnt a single day in a childs life when they are not learning from what adults do around them. So we need to look at the bigger picture instead of what we want all the time. For the children not for us!  I have not seen one single action for the child, but my 5 children know every single day, THEY ARE LOVED BY ME, BY THEIR DAD, BY THEIR STEP-MOM, and THEIR SOON TO BE STEP-DAD!  I will love and teach my soon to be step daughter, SHE IS LOVED BY ME, BY HER FATHER, and HER MOTHER (and anyone she chooses to have) no matter what.  AND NO ONE NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON WILL TAKE THAT RIGHT AWAY FROM ME!!!