Thursday, March 22, 2012

Courage doesn't require you to roar!

What a wonderful statement.  I have learned a lot about courage lately.  I used to think that courage meant doing things despite what anyone else thought, and without fear.  I used to!  Sometimes, people do things in spite of someone else and they claim it is courageous.  The emotion of anger not only wounds those it targets, but also destroys the hearts of those who nurture it. 

When your personally attacked sometimes the quiet is more important then "the roar."  I have never met such negative humans then in this time right now.  Our earth is surrounded by vanity, anger, pain, jealousy, and many other destructive behaviors.  How does one survive the attack?   I thought it was courageous to attack back to let out the ROAR!  Your negativity won't bring me down, so in spite of you I will fight back!  I realized I was just a part of the destruction. The assumption of fighting is physical, and I will state right now I am not in anyway talking about the fight of physicality.  But rather the carnal need to destroy another human, to break them down to the point you feel content and they feel nothing but angst.

Lately, I sit back.  I stay silent. I silently cry. I silently feel the pain. I get up. I take the attack, I move forward and realize that this is more courageous then the one who personally attacks me.  I realized that I wasn't the only one feeling the attack of negativity.  I watched on the social media sites and interaction with others; that the overall feeling is that humans have lost their brightness.  They are walking around with this dark little cloud that is driving them to attack and all of their antagonistic behaviors shine through.

We aren't perfect are we?  We all have our bad days, and we shouldn't be defined by them.  These aren't the moments I see, what I see is is who is driving the race to continue, to not just "have a moment" but to live in misery?  So how do you define your courage in a world of destruction? 

Monday, March 5, 2012

Large Families

Today, I feel the attack of my family. No, I do not have my hands full! No its not always easy!  Yes, we do have a lot of fun!  Yes, we get cranky and fight!  No my house is not perfect, but its better then most! 

 While many people will argue that children are at a disadvantage in a large family. Certainly children of large families are not indulged as often as their small family counterparts, but having the newest gadget, designer shoes, or their every whim met is not necessarily a bad thing at all. Even if one would view having to wear hand-me-downs, sharing a room, or putting up with a certain level of noise and a hectic household a negative thing, the truth is there are a good number of advantages to being a part of a large family, most which far surpass any "negatives."

My children, like any other child, suffer the same behaviors that any other child does.  It seems more then most because there are more of them. I have scuffed walls, and fingerprints and hand prints every few feet.  I have a dent in a door, because someone opened it one to many times very hard.  I have repeated time in and time out "Don't do that" or "stop arguing!"  

Yet, I will turn around and see two children laughing, that just fifteen minutes earlier wanted to rip the others throat out.  I will see an older child who claims she just doesn't care, help a smaller sibling put on a shirt because he can't do it on his own.  I see attitudes, and children exhibit bad behaviors because they have gone through some horribly hard changes in their tiny little lives, and I want to give them the world.

I am a good mom!  My children are healthy, they do a lot for others, even when they make some not so great choices.  (It is how they learn, is it not?)  Do not judge our life because you do not understand it!  Do not assume we live on welfare, or take from others to pay for our life, do not assume that my children are lacking things in their life!

1. We have fun!
2. There was a time that I couldn't handle it either...so telling me I don't know how you do it, I can barely handle my two, is no different then me and what I do.  If you are diligent to train them with love, they grow up into lovely “big kids.”  They won't always be terrible house wrecking toddlers, they will soon be teen terrors!  Enjoy it in the moment!
3. They learn if your bored it really is your own choice!
4. We eat every meal together!  There is never a dull conversation!
5.  They learn the meaning of responsibility, accountability, and how to handle conflict.

MY CHILDREN ARE NOT ACCIDENTS, yes I know how I got them, I know what caused them to come to this planet, and please do not assume that we are struggling!

Don't ask you must "have good jobs" because my response will be, "Yes we have a great job, its called parenting!"  Not that my finances are your business, the truth is, having several children makes you smarter about where your money goes. My partner and I budget carefully because we have to and want to.

Do people who assume that mothers of many are unhappy and stressed simply feel threatened? Perhaps because they don’t enjoy motherhood? I never asked for the title, but several friends have dubbed me SuperMom. Would this cause another mom to feel inferior and make inappropriate comments to me?  I love the fact that I am a mom, and I have mad a great choice.

No my home is not a mess all the time
No we do not live in chaos, we are living
Yes we get a quiet moment to ourselves and we have learned when to enjoy it
No we do not live off the government, or even better… child support (don’t make me laugh with that last one!)
No my house is not always loud and crazy
Yes we spend time with the children individually
Yes my significant other and I get alone time
No he does not work 70 hours a week to get us by
No we are not a disadvantage or are we a disadvantage to you
No my significant other is not a saint for taking us all on (he loves us) we aren't burdens
Yes I will be adding one more to my brew of 5, my five will take her under their wing and be there for their wonderful soon to be step sister, families blend all the time!

I think from now on my answer to these kinds of inappropriate questions from now on will be simple I will turn it around on the person and ask them how they’re doing in that particular area. People reflect onto you their own concerns. They reflect what’s in their heart.  For me and my home, we are doing just fine!!